San Clemente Beach

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One of the many things I miss about Cali is definitely the beach! My heart is set in TX but my mind is set in CA…this should provide me some clarity…I hope!

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Proud of who I am

My beauty is not limited to my looks or the way I walk. It’s not my body or my hair that defines me. Don’t judge my be my looks, my clothes or the way I wear my hair. My intelligence is not limited to my degrees or my educational level. Don’t make assumptions about me by looking at my income, my house or my life style. I can not be defined by all these. Judge me by the love and compassion I have in my heart. Find the beauty in the way I smile when I hide my scars and overcome my pain. Define me by my capacity to endure pain and my passion to survive despite all the odds in my life. Judge me by the way I treat people around me and the way I touch so many hearts with my unconditional love. My life is not glorious but it’s not awful or pathetic. I may not have a great influence on people I meet, but, I ‘m unique in my own special way even with my flaws and imperfections. And, if this is not enough you can define me by the footprints of love that I will leave behind in the hearts of people when I am dead and gone. I am proud of who I am.

Every Action has a Consequence. Every Nonaction has a consequence.

TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperMan!

Every Action has a Consequence. Every Nonaction has a consequence.

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.
― Wayne W. Dyer
‪#‎Quotes‬ ‪#‎WhatGoesAroundComesAround‬ ‪#‎GoldenRule‬

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Home Bitter Sweet Home!!

After driving 24hrs with my younger brother we finally arrived home. It was a great trip, although we had quite a few disagreements due to our personal views on things, it was still a good trip. We got to bond with each other and get to learn more about each other. He did provide me with a lot of advice and his views on the current situations I’m having to face. Both of us have strong characters as well as a giving heart. He’s like my best friend because I can literally talk to him about EVERYTHING even about my guy issues and female issues. Although sometimes he says I give him TMI. He still listens to me.

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As soon as we arrived to his house our parents came over and we had some delicious Pollo Loco; something I’d been craving for a couple of months; as well as some drinks! My family enjoys family time as well as having lots of drinks around! I’ve included a picture of me and my parents. Family and random people say I’m the spitting image of my father and it’s kind of sad that I ended up being a female. I don’t take it to heart, cuz I know I’m my own persona.

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My dad has been bugging me to come back home. Every conversation we have is “come back home”. I’ve almost been convinced to just finish the summer session which is in two weeks and packing my personal belongings and coming back home. I spoke to a couple of friends and I already have a job lined up if I want it as well a place to live; which would be in my brother’s condo. But, part of me just wants to stay and live a peaceful life in Texas. So, we’ll see what the stars have in store for me these next few weeks and then maybe, just maybe I will return to california.

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Goals & Aspirations

Other than my educational goals, which I’ve previously mentioned, I have other goals and aspirations.

I want to learn four or five more languages. I want to learn and fluently speak and sign; American Sign Language, French, Italian, Portuguese and some kind of Mandarin. I want to volunteer for the Peace Corps. I’d love to work for the United Nations once I’m done with my educational goals and work with victims of Human Trafficking and Refugees. I’d love to travel and see the world internationally and learn other cultures.

I’m currently a volunteer at American Red Cross as an International Case Worker where I help families locate loved ones in varies countries not just within the United   States. We even locate victims of the Holocaust and their where abouts if they are survivors! We also help locate victims of war from other countries. I think what the American Red Cross does is just AMAZING!!

I’d love to get back to bikram yoga – which is the equivalent of hot yoga in TX but in lesser degree rooms. The bikram yoga I did back home the temperature in the room was 105 degrees and I loved it. I even believe its better than sex; but, that’s just me.  In TX the temperature is way less; I believe the highest is 98 degrees. But it’s all good, as long as I get back to it; it’s all that matters to me. Plus, it offers great benefits like glowing skin because it helps detoxify your system and you can even lose weight just off of Hot Yoga. I’d love to start re-training to run in a half and full marathon. I don’t plan on being first place, but I’d really like to get back to running and just have that experience.

I plan to start writing a book; with the help of my previous English Professor. She will be helping me and guiding me as well as doing the P.R. for me; which is something she does on the side. She’s going to help get an Editor and Publisher as well. I’d love to bring this into fruition. I will most likely write about my life and the peeks and valleys I’ve been faced with and how I was able to get out of the rut I was in. It will be an inspiring book and it will also bring hope to victims and survivors of abuse.

I can only do all this with the limited time I have in a day and financial resources with the help of God. He’s my sole provider for all my heart’s desires. And He will help me bring all my goals and aspirations into fruition. I just have to believe and set my mind to it.

It’s so exciting to be sharing with you what I’d love to do with my life. You know, after this fall semester I will have 3 more semesters to go and I will be receiving my Bachelors. I can hardly wait! Just to envision myself graduating and walking the stage is what keeps me motivated to pursue my hearts desires.

Pray for me and my future endeavors.

Love & Light!

 

 

 

 

Determination

As previously stated; I will be getting my Bachelor of Social Work in the Spring of 2015 which my goal was to have it by the time I’m 34, something I will be able to accomplish. I will be attending UTA for a dual Masters’ in Social Work and Public Administration and giving myself 2 years for that. I will then continue to pursue my Ph.D. in International Social Work, I have yet to know which school I will attend;  in hopes that I’m done with that by the time I’m 40.

I currently work two full time jobs. One consists of 40hrs a week working the graveyard shift and the other consists of 36hrs a week working the day shift. I don’t have a day off at all. It’s been a few weeks since I took time off my day job so I can focus on my classes but will be returning soon.  

For the summer I’m taking 18 credit hours which consist of six classes. You might ask if I sleep. I do, I get to nap two hours a day and that’s all. How can I function? I honestly don’t know. I just have the drive to continue to stay determined and focused and keep my eyes on my goals.

I also have a goal to be able to save at least 20k by the time I get my bachelor’s degree and purchase a home somewhere in TX. I don’t know where yet because it depends where the road leads with the man I’m in love with. I plan to include him in all my future endeavors, but it just all depends on him and what he’d like to do, and where our friendship / relationship goes.

I’m the type of woman that takes the bull by the horns and handles business. I don’t wait around for anyone to do anything for me and I don’t depend on anyone for anything. I’ve been this way since I was 13 years old. I think this was an issue in my marriage because when I would ask my ex-husband to do something he’d wait until he felt like doing it; so, I’d do it on my own. Whether it was helping our handyman put in new kitchen cabinets in our home or paint the whole inside of the house. I just took action and still do.

I started working at the age of 13 to help support my family. I’ve literally been working 19 years total. I remember when I started working at the day care I would bring home 100$ a week; I’d keep 20$ and give my dad the rest. My mother became extremely ill and became disabled, unable to help my father with bills. So, I took the initiative to help. My brothers got to do the sports things and enjoy a childhood. I don’t I ever really remember enjoying a childhood. I mean, I don’t sob about it. I’m 32 for crying out loud. I sure as hell don’t wish to go back in time. I also don’t regret anything in my life. I think people go through certain things to be able to help others’ in the future.

The first impression most people get from me is that I’m a b***h. But, I’m not; I can be if I have to. Only when I’m defending those I care about or someone messes with me. But, for the most part, I’m mellow, down to earth, a good woman, loving, sincere and genuine. Again, I don’t dilly dally around anything. I call it like I see it. Some people take that as being blunt, but only sometimes. I just don’t sugar coat anything because I don’t see a need for that. I think people need to know straight up whatever the issue is. Why sugar coat anything? I don’t get it.  

I’m determined to keep pushing forward no matter what peeks and valleys I have to go through. I can do all things through Christ and what I set my mind to, with of course the help of God. Only He gives me the strength to be able to have so much energy and make it day in and day out. All the glory be to God.

Love & Light!

Do you know pain?

Do you know the pain of emotionless parents? Do you know the pain of being robbed your innocence? Do you know the pain of heart-break? Of physical pain? Of Psychological pain? I do. I’ve known this pain from the age of 5 up until recently I would say up until I turned 30 years old; where I decided I would no longer allow it to rob my happiness. That’s 25 years of pain; from all sorts of sources. But, somehow I’ve been able to stand strong. This amazes me even. Why? Because, I’m only 32 years old and I can relate to peoples’ pain within their hearts and whatever they are faced with. I can feel what people are faced with and that’s what brings tears to my eyes. Not the fact of what I’ve been through, because I’ve mended all my wounds; but what other people I encounter have to deal with and them not knowing how to handle it.

I’ve been dealt a serious of trials and tribulations through out my life. But you know how I’ve survived it? I know this will sound crazy; but by giving of myself; by volunteering at a hospice clinic, at a pre-kindergarten, at a convalescent home; at child protective services and now soon to volunteer at American Red Cross and Mosaic.

I’m excited to announce I will be an international case worker for the American Red Cross and teaching English as a Second Language to victims of Human Trafficking and Refugees. This literally brings happiness and joy to my heart. Because, I will be able to inspire others with my life story. I will be able to give them hope and show them love. I will be able to help victims of all sorts to rise above their situation. I will be selfless and continue to give of myself. But, this can only be done by the Grace of God.

For many years I wanted to be an R.N. but I kept lagging it in taking the courses; I would take one here and there. It’s not until 2 years ago where I decided to change my career because of a life event I had to deal with and I was given the revelation that I was choosing the wrong career. I changed my career from nursing to Social Work.

I will be getting my Bachelor of Social Work by spring of 2015. I will then attend UTA and obtain a dual Master’s in Social Work and Public Administration. From there I will continue to pursue my degree and obtain my Ph.D. in International Social Work and work with the United Nations Chapter here in Dallas and work with Victims of Human Trafficking and Refugees. This is my ultimate life goal. I might be 40 years old by the time I finish my educational goals, but it’s ok. There’s no rush. School will always be there. My fear and question is will I be able to have it all, a husband, kids, and my career? Only Lord knows what’s really in store for me. But I will keep pushing forward until He says I’m done with my education.

Although I’ve been through a lot of pain, God has been there for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been upset with Him for allowing me to go through certain things in life, but no matter what He’s been there for me and has accepted and loved me unconditionally. Something I’ve come to terms with just a year ago.

If you deal with pain and don’t know how to handle it, I will be all eyes and ears for you. You can talk to me via email anytime at just.writing@hotmail.com I can give you words of encouragement or solutions to your issue. Another thing about me is I don’t take no for an answer. I will always find the yes in the million no’s I get.

Love & Light!